Unit Commissioner Counseling Skills I.  INTRODUCTION      A.  The best way to strengthen a unit is to strengthen its leadership.  Counseling is an            effective method of helping unit leaders develop their potential.  Even the leader who            has completed formal training and has years of experience can benefit from            counseling.  Where the need for an answer or a solution is not immediate, counseling            is preferred over teaching.  As a commissioner, you should develop your counseling            skills.      B.  What is counseling?            1.  Counseling is the ability to listen and react in a way that will help others solve their                 own problems and attain their potential.            2.  Counseling is the art of helping others arrive at the right answer by their own                 analysis of the situation and the facts.  When it is done skillfully, they may not even                 know that they have been guided.            3.  You should counsel whenever someone needs encouragement in a difficult task,                 or help in solving a problem, interpreting facts, or resolving indecision or                 confusion. II.  ELEMENTS OF GOOD COUNSELING      A.  Carefully select a time and place where there will be few interruptions.  Provide a            relaxed atmosphere.  The midst of a unit meeting is obviously not such a time.      B.  Listen more than you speak.  You may need to check out your understanding with the            other person.  ("Bill, are you saying that...?"  "Sue, is... how you really feel?")      C.  Try to understand what a leader tells you.  Listen for hidden meanings and watch            body language.      D.  Let the leader know that you really hear what he or she is saying.      E.  Do not give quick, easy advice.  People need to be guided as they find ways to solve            their own problems.      F.  Summarize the problem and help them organize their thoughts.      G.  Support their thinking with further information and data.  You may suggest several            viable possibilities, but let the leader select the one he or she thinks might work.            Provide facts.  Know the difference between information and advice.      H.  Encourage the leader to review verbally several possible solutions to the problem.        I.  Reflect feelings.  Restating feelings indicated by the leader helps to clarify his or her            meanings and to show sympathy for his or her point of view.      J.  Use positive body language.  Leaning forward, good eye contact, and hand gestures           indicate interest.  (How would you feel if the listener's eyes were closed?)      K.  Be aware of your biases.  Commissioners are likely to have conversations that test            their own prejudices.  Perhaps you don't feel that women make good Scoutmasters.            Be aware of a prejudice of this kind.  Try to remain open in a conversation where            prejudice might make you a poor counselor.      L.  Avoid making judgments.  A warm, sympathetic listener creates a spirit of openness--           especially for emotions.  If the commissioner criticizes each statement and each           feeling expressed, the leader will likely clam up.      M. Avoid anger.   Some leaders can be very trying.  They may accuse or criticize the           commissioner, or use ethnic or sexual insults.  Anger is the worst defense.  Remain           cool, professional. III.  MAKING SUGGESTIONS      A.  Often, it's better to offer a suggestion in the form of a question.  Sometimes they are            more acceptable when they come as questions.            Good questions relate directly to what the speaker is saying.  (An abrupt diversion in            the direction of conversation may be a turnoff to the other person.)